Clearly... I've become transparent...
And yet so materialized...
Weak and dull...
An amalgam of destroyed thoughts whirling around my head...
Annihilating any chance of perfect sense...
Leaving nothing, but a feeling of doubt, insecurity and whatever else is there...
Always wandered around illusions that kept me safe...
Until I found one that kept me steady...
but...
Too long I've wasted my time unconsciously saving something to give...
Too long I've wasted my time building an analytic fortress around myself...
and yet, at a moment, I doubt that time was wasted in saving (it was worth it)
and at another moment, I doubt time was wasted... on making me too damn frozen to bow down...
The heart has reasons that even reason itself is unaware of...
And because of it I don't know what to do, what to say, what to pick up from the fragmented thoughts...
I don't know if I should get back on being what I was or to be compassionate about what was now keeping me happy...
This frenzy of butterflies in my stomach won't go away until I find the source of the problem...
But I should be the last person to apply pressure on open wounds... specially those that aren't mine...
Yes, transparent...
Clearly, now anyone can see me through...
神龍、21日1月2013年
Monday, January 21, 2013
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