Monday, September 15, 2014

Words of now...

It's been long since the last time I put down a word...
It's been long since the last time I ever thought about writing something...
It's been long since the last time I felt emotions deep enough to do so...
It's been long...

It's been long since the last time my heartaches started to grow really painful
Or that I felt alone, frustrated, raging against the world or just at myself for not knowing how to deal with it properly...

Well, it's not like I felt joyful or even a teeny tiny bit happy ever since, but...
Life's limitations can make a person static for quite a while...
and a few peaceful moments alone with the right amount of material showing up slices of reality just made me rethink all twenty six years of living a dull and pathetic life searching for ephemeral pieces of happiness, ignoring the fact that they're just mere illusions of (our) my own mind...

Even though I claim to be stripped from romance, I do hope for it to come/show...

to me or from me...

I am deeply depressed because the only way I get to show my true sadness is from either blowing up (preferably alone) or by writing... to no one, but myself...

and right now, I just can't accept the fact that I'm the way I've always wanted...

A mostly independent, single and totally free guy to roam around wherever, whatever and whoever I want...


神龍、15日9月2014年

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