Thursday, January 24, 2013

Not ur usual post, ねぇ龍さん?!


...was in search of the perfect song to express how i'm feeling...
I searched for sad or troublesome ones...
and, ironically enough, it came to me as a fate's bitch slap in the face...
It's not quite how I feel right now, but it's perfect for how I felt before (& still long for, even if it seems impossible now...)


Hope you like the song though...
some will rapidly recognize it for sure from Naruto's ops^^
(Won't put any [translated] lyrics since the video already has them...)




Ikimono Gakari - Blue Bird







P.S.: For all those who read this and understand why i'm about to say:
         Sorry if you think this is a little too much and that I'm becoming a bit obsessed, but I really need to release everything that is choking me and preventing me to feel the smallest amount of happiness since these last few days and so on...

P.S.S.: And directly to you (**** ******)...
           I'm just afraid that I only was that white, white cloud you went through to reach for that blue, blue sky, though...

but I'll be very happy for you whenever you reach for your happiness :)

No longer an excuse...


I don't long for places...
I long for persons, friends
I long for moments and memories
all those bonds that keep/kept me alive for all this time...

My heart grieves and my throat's choked
My head hurts and my chest's aching
I love you my Ebora Regina
but you won't kill all the sorrows inside me...


神龍、24日1月2013年

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

"Então como estás?"

Tendo em conta segredos que me sustentam...
Indo desde estados de espirito descenessários à sociabilidade; frases engolidas a seco a quem mais desdenho (sem saberem); (...); até a actos e/ou consequências directas ou colaterais que jamais alguém iria perdoar...

Tendo em conta amizades que se afastam...
Quer por zangas geradas por inúteis debates; por conflitos de interesses; por pura ausência; ou pelo simples facto de seguir a vida que se direciona num rumo que se desvia...

E amores que simplesmente não existem...
Que não correspondem; que não se extendem ou que não resultam...
 

Posso claramente dizer a quem mo perguntar:
"Vou sobrevivendo..."


Didacus, 22日1月2013年

Monday, January 21, 2013

Delusions and its posthumous awareness & confusion

Clearly... I've become transparent...
And yet so materialized...
Weak and dull...
An amalgam of destroyed thoughts whirling around my head...

Annihilating any chance of perfect sense...
Leaving nothing, but a feeling of doubt, insecurity and whatever else is there...


Always wandered around illusions that kept me safe...
Until I found one that kept me steady...
but...
Too long I've wasted my time unconsciously saving something to give...
Too long I've wasted my time building an analytic fortress around myself...
and yet, at a moment, I doubt that time was wasted in saving (it was worth it)
and at another moment, I doubt time was wasted... on making me too damn frozen to bow down...

The heart has reasons that even reason itself is unaware of...

And because of it I don't know what to do, what to say, what to pick up from the fragmented thoughts...
I don't know if I should get back on being what I was or to be compassionate about what was now keeping me happy...

This frenzy of butterflies in my stomach won't go away until I find the source of the problem...

But I should be the last person to apply pressure on open wounds... specially those that aren't mine...

Yes, transparent...
Clearly, now anyone can see me through...


神龍、21日1月2013年

Worst rhymes... EVER!

I'm a mess
I'm a wreck
I screw everything I get

I'm a pawn
I'm a leader
I'm the worst kind of receiver

Beating my face or heart altogether
Brainstorming is not my kind of weather
'Cuz I am hurt and I am sore
My life's just a useless lore


Didacus, 21日1月2013年